YOU MIGHT BE A NARCOLEPTIC......

Hi, this is a very humorous list I got off of the old myspace Narcolepsy group.  If you know me or anyone with Narcolepsy, prepare to laugh.

YOU MIGHT BE A NARCOLEPTIC......

- If you've never finished anything you started - not even a sentence.
- If the phrase "rest home" sounds like heaven.
- If "let me slip into something more comfortable" generally means sweats.
- If the lights go out in your office every 5 mins ever since the
management had motion detector sensors installed.
- If your mood rarely matches that of your environment.
- If you praise yourself every time you remember something before it
is too late.
- If the people at your church think you're very spiritual because you
spend so much time with your head bowed.
- If you change your pajamas twice a day because you get so much use
out of them.
- if the last place your husband looks for his clean clothes is in the
closet or the dresser drawers.
- if you say "now what was I saying?" over 10 times a day.
- if you get up to go to the bathroom and halfway there forget where
you were going.
- if you can fall asleep on a roller coaster.
- if you need naps more than your toddler does. (yes I do)
- if you have to constantly ask someone "did this actually happen or
was I dreaming?"
- if you are absolutely positive you paid that bill, you remember it
vividly, you can even tell what check .. and everything only to
discover that the check is still in the book and there is nothing on it.
- if you can eat dinner and five minutes later have no idea what you
just ate or if you ever did.
- if your Brita pitcher has only had a half an inch of water in it for
three days becuase you just don't have the energy to 'make' water.
- If, in elementary school, your SAT scores started saying "post high
school" in the 3rd grade, yet you were still being tested for special ed.
- If the justice system has ordered you never to appear as a witness
for the rest of your life (all those false 911 calls - "Yes! You've
got to help me! There's a tall caucasian man in my room with a knife
and a rubber ducky! He's...oh nevermind. He vanished.").
- If "Huh? I'm sorry, what did you say?" is part of your regular
vocabulary, and you're not hearing impaired.
- If you've ever said "I'm so exhausted, I need a nap" and your spouse
replies "you've only been up for 5 minutes". . .or if the statement "I
have so much to do right now I'd better go to sleep." makes perfect sense.
- If you've ever been so tired that you can't sleep.
- If your TV only has commercials.
- If the first place you check for missing items is the fridge
- If 2 + 2 = 22 makes sense to you.
- If you remember 100% of what you studied in the textbook and forgot
to go to class to take the final exam (you could swear you had class
on Thusday, not Wednesday).
- If one of your regular weekend chores is searching your house for
randomly misplaced items.
- If you answer the phone with "I um yeah um hello? Did I call you or
did you call me?"
- If your side of a conversation consists mostly of "And then...wait,
I think I was...what was I gonna say?"
- If, when you see a spider on your wall, you envy his ability to keep
moving, but realize he is probably really a figment of your imagination.
- If you have a clock on every wall in your house and all of them are
purposely set ahead to different times so you'll always think "It's
time to go!"
- If you have a 10 hour or more delay on memory retrieval.
- If you have memorized or carry in your wallet a list of "Why I'm
Late for Work" excuses for 250 days of the year plus one for leap year.
- If you have to put lunch on your "to do" list.
- If you've trained your dog to turn on the coffee maker, pull the
covers off you in the morning when your alarm goes off, and prod you
into the shower.
- If you have more than 3 sticky notes on your bathroom mirror daily
and one of them says "Don't forget to read your sticky notes".
- If you've forgotten your own birthday.
- If you feel like you're trapped inside an invisible time machine
that thrusts you forward in time in random 2 hr spurts.
- If "NIGHT is to DAY as SLEEP is to ____" sounds like an unsolvable
riddle.
- If you function better when you are under the influence of amphetamines.
- If you can fake people out that you're bilingual by reciting the
names of your medications.
- If you can remember to call your doctor, but you can't remember why.
- If Santa Claus hits your house around noon on Christmas because
that's when you're most likely to be unconcious.